If you would rather read about Obscure Beard Tips Part 3, please review the video transcript below.
The most obscure beard tip I have off the top of my head – the most niche beard tip. There’s going to be one guy out there who watches this video two years from now and is like, “Yes!” It is this – chili dogs, I like eating chili dogs. Most things that involve sticks of meat, fat, cheese, various meats spreads. With a chili dog, I mean it’s going to be messy. Chili dogs for people without beards and moustaches can get messy.
What I do is I take the bun I will put the chili, ketchup, mustard, cheese everything under the hot dog. Now that helps a little bit because the hot dog can help contain those other ingredients so when you’re taking a bite they aren’t spilling over the top. For my personally, the reason I do that is because again I lift the moustache up to eat and by putting the toppings under the hot dog I don’t get them on my hand as I slide the hot dog into my mouth.
Now I totally stole this from my wife who stole it from Pinterest. This is a cupcake tip. It’s much like your chili dog tip. You rip the head off, flip it upside down, and then it becomes a sandwich with icing in the middle. Icing is the worst! It gets everywhere and it’s right on top. It finds a way to get in your moustache. But if you flip it around you have bread on top.
There should a scale like the scale of hurricanes. The Fujita scale [it’s actually the Saffir-Simpson scale, sorry!] and the Beaufort scale for storms or whatever. There should be a beard - food contact scale like how bad it is when you get hit. And one of the worst is icing. With bread when you’re done you can just go like this and shake it out. If you can lower yourself on that scale by flipping the cupcake around, it’s much better.
And also, you get an even mixture of bread to icing. Completely unrelated to bearding, this is for anybody – you can get it mixed in much better. Not just anybody. There are some people who refuse to eat the bottoms of cupcakes. Ok, not for anybody. For anybody who wants to enjoy it the pastry chef designed it – not just for bearded people though.
Like Ben and Jerry’s, they mix it all in. There’s something to this. You don’t get a jambalaya and all the shrimps to the left. You get it all mixed together. Or like raisins or oatmeal. You don’t just put them in that quadrant, you mix it all in. You should do that with icing.
Okay, I think they get the point. If you want more food analogies just email Doug at firstname.lastname@example.org and ask him whatever foods should be combined and not separated. Ok, we’re going to take a break from the video and go eat.
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