We can neither confirm nor deny that the man pictured in this photograph is Adam Causgrove, President & Chairman of the American Mustache Institute. Such a refined gentleman wouldn't encourage you to cheat, would he? Surely not!
Movember is nearly upon us. It's a month dedicated not only to moustaches, but to men's health issues. Charity drives and functions abound, and men across the world who wouldn't normally grow facial hair take a step to help their fellow man while letting their face fur fly free.
Some of you may have previously participated in Movember, and if you started clean shaven on November 1, first, let us commend you for having the bravery to start afresh. Second, let us acknowledge the fact that we realize you may not have been happy with your moustache's thirty day growth, so we're here with some tips to help you cheat this Movember.
- If you're not part of a group that requires a clean shaven start on November 1st, then start now! Your friends probably won't notice the difference; rather, they'll think you have pure testosterone coming out of your face by the time November 30th rolls around.
- If you are part of a group that requires a clean shaven start, don't just grow a moustache, grow a full beard. Your friends will get used to seeing you with a face full of hair, and when November 29th rolls around, shave it all but your moustache. The contract of your moustache against the rest of your clean shaven face will make your moustache seem larger and your growing abilities even more impressive.
- Start growing a moustache now and wear a surgical mask to work. Tell your co-workers that you've developed an allergy. When they ask to what, sidestep the question by saying you had to get a prescription. When they ask what the prescription was for, say "more cowbell". They'll laugh and forget about the original question they asked and you can continue to grow your moustache in secret.
- Start growing early and take the next few weeks off work or away from your fellow Movember participants. You've built up that sick time - reward yourself and grow your moustache in peace!
- *MOST IMPORTANT* - Once you've picked from numbers 1-4, it's time for the coup de grace, the most effective way to cheat at Movember, the one that will really stick it to your fellow participants. Pick a Movember related charity and go make a donation right now! We humbly suggest visiting the Prostate Cancer Foundation and making a donation at this moment. Then, when you're flaunting your abnormally large moustache, just drop in the conversation that in addition to the money you raised throughout the month, you already made a donation before your friends even started growing their moustaches. The men will be jealous and the women will swoon. You're welcome.
We understand that while you’re growing, you may encounter the dreaded beard itch (or moustache itch). Check out our full range of beard and moustache products designed to keep your facial hair healthy, looking great, and itch free. Visit the Can You Handlebar blog for how-to guides, product usage tips and facial hair news, and be sure to visit The American Mustache Institute – the defenders of facial hair everywhere.
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