Even “bad jobs” are good

Even the “bad jobs” I have had over the years have taught me something about myself and about life. When I was a spot welder and came home each day exhausted, burnt and bruised, I learned what hard work really was and I was proud of what I had built. I used to dig little bit of metal out of my belly that got there when a spray of white metal picked me instead of spraying 40′ across the factory floor. I have seen (and felt) copper  so hot it turned shades of purple and green. I’ve worked 42 days straight doing manual labor and the first two weeks of that were over 12-16 hours per day. I’ve sweated so hard that even though I drank several bottles of water, I didn’t need to urinate. In some ways it was hell and yet part of me loved it. I knew I was a man (or closer to that goal). A job like that is like a merit badge you wear on the inside.

The symptom

These days, some Mondays are definitely less welcomed than others, but to work is a blessing (especially in this economy!). I may complain about work sometimes but deep down it is honorable and satisfying. As an aspiring gentleman I try to keep this perspective and avoid the trendy complaining cycle on Facebook. The men I most admire would never say something like “ugh, it’s a Monday.” We all feel that way sometimes, I suppose.  But it seems like people who are enjoying life complain–if they complain at all–about how little time their is to do the work they have picked.  The don’t complain about having to work.

The new approach

The idea of being a gentleman can seem a little nebulous sometimes. We may have a mental picture of a man in a three piece suit and a monocle sipping a tea. In practice, being a gentleman it is more like a thousand little decisions, not owning a pocket watch or twirling our moustache. So, here is the approach I am working on: I am challenging myself to protect my mindset against petty resentment toward the gift of work. I will apply myself and think in bigger increments than a week at a time. To check my progress I remember that I am choosing to become the man I want my son to think I already am.

Who is with me?

Community: a label or a reality?

People tend to refer to a group of people who share common features and call them a “community.” I think it is sort of a shorthand (or maybe it just sounds better to say “black community” or “bearded community” than to say “black people” or “guys with beards”).  It seems to me, regardless of the reason, if we are called a community, let’s be one. Because the truth is, being a community should be more than being lumped in with a bunch of people that look like you.

Why we grow our beards and moustaches

There are a lot of reasons why guys grow beards or moustaches. Some guys just like the way it looks. Other guys feel like it makes them look more distinguished, or rugged, or older or younger. Others grow a beard or moustache to symbolize that they are a gentleman or that they believe in classic masculinity. I suppose I am motivated, in part, by most of these. Bearding isn’t zero sum; wearing a beard may win, but  not wearing a beard does not lose. If you want to see the “right way” in action, check out a competition. From what I have seen and heard, competitions are the real deal when it comes to acceptance, real friendship and respect.

Deciding to make it a real community

To be a real community of bearded guys (or guys with moustaches) becomes a random group of dudes with hair on their chin. We can enjoy our choices while at the same time being cool with people that want to do something different. If you shave, that is pretty damned manly too, what with it being something only guys do. If you have a “business beard” and not a two foot long flowing mane, that’s cool too!

Wrapping it up

I guess, when I think about it, what I am trying to say is that if I had to pick, I would rather hang out with a gentleman that doesn’t have a beard before I hang out with a dude that does any day. That is the community that I want to be in. If you can swing both, all the better. Am I alone in this?

I recently got this question from a customer: What moustache comb should I use?

My response:

"Great question! I use a lot of different combs and brushes depending on my mood and how my moustache and beard and moustache are acting.

Everyday use:

I keep an "unbreakable" black plastic or nylon comb in my pocket at all times. The ones with both coarse and fine teeth are nice to have on hand and are not very expensive. Usually they cost less about a dollar. The coarse teeth are good for combing a waxed moustache since they do not pull hairs as much as the fine teeth. I typically run the coarse side through a couple times to get the hairs going the same direction and then follow up with the fine side to separate the hairs properly. Given that it is plastic, I can clean it easily with hand soap to remove any wax it picks up and dry with a towel before putting it back in my pocket.

My nice comb:

I also use a really wide toothed comb that I steal from my wife on occasion when my hair is wet. I am careful to clean it well before I put it back on the counter (because I value my life). These are often called "volumizing" combs and are great for beards if you have one. For my anniversary, my wife bought me a comb from the workshop of Nick Offerman, the gentleman that plays Ron Swanson on Parks and Rec. He is a master woodworker and though it is expensive, it will make a nice addition to my collection of manly mementos! Here is a link: http://offermanwoodshop.bigcartel.com/product/mustache-combs-limited-edition (links are not affiliate)

Do you need some wax or beard oil to go with your comb? Be sure to check out our fine products:

• "Natural hold" Primary6 Moustache Wax
• "Extra hold" Secondary6 Moustache Wax
• Beard Dry Oil, premium easy-to-use beard oil

Want to learn more about CanYouHandlebar or join the conversation?

• Check out my Manifesto
• How to apply moustache wax
• Join the conversation on Facebook

Manly Marks: A Letterpress Project

"Manly Marks: a Letterpress Project" is a very cool idea and there are 5 days left, so if you want a really cool and totally unique memento of your journey--follow the link and order yours! In addition to a handmade book there are other cool items at different award levels.

As many of you know, I love entrepreneurs and well made things. Brandon is a printmaker and has assembled a really cool hand made book about being a man. In his video, Brandon mentions the merits of the beard and so I am happy to announce that I am giving some beard Dry Oil to some of the backers of one of the coolest Kickstarter projects I have ever seen once the campaign has wrapped up!

Of course you know page three should be "apply Dry Oil to your beard." :}

(Disclaimer: I make nothing if you sponsor the project).