The phases of growing a handlebar moustache

Knowing the phases upfront

The decision to grow a handlebar moustache can be made in a day; however, the work required to actually grow a handlebar to full maturity requires about three months (aka 90 days, 12 weeks, or a quarter of a year--whichever seems the shortest to you). If you know this you are ahead of the game and have the opportunity to prepare your mind and your face. Here are the phases and what you need to know for each.

Phase One: Stubble phase

This phase is the easy one. You may be a lucky would-be handlebar moustache wax wearer and already have some sort of goatee, a moustache or a full beard and moustache combo. If that is the case, skip to Phase Two. If you are converting your Movember growth to a manly handlebar, you have already gone through this and come out the other side with some growth. Here are some tips for this. Tip: 1. err on the side of not shaving hairs you may need later. 2. Use a natural coarse bristled brush to massage the skin and keep the skin on your lip healthy and free of dead skin and hairs that have bailed. 3. Start using your moustache wax to train the hairs to the sides and condition the hair underneath.

Phase Two: Itchy phase

This is when you will be tempted to trim at the lip line because it is itchy and starts to creep into your mouth. DON'T. You need these hairs later. The itchy phase is where most guys bail. Hang tight because this phase only lasts a couple weeks before the hairs are long enough to stay put when you comb them to the sides. Tips: 1. Use wax every day at this point. Use the least necessary to maintain the hold and protect your skin. 2. Use positive affirmations like "nothing worthwhile happens overnight" and then suck it up and stick it out to Phase Three.

Phase Three: Awesome phase

This is the big pay off. After around six to eight weeks you will have an adolescent handlebar moustache. The middle won't have grown all the way to the ends yet, but it will look like a fully fledged handlebar from a couple feet away. Buy the time you hit the three month mark--you are there! Congratulations! Tips: 1. Focus most of you wax in the tips since your nose is breathing out nearly 98 degrees and will soften the wax anyway. Since you are three months in, all of your hairs are growing alongside one another and so, if you get the tips waxed, the middle will largely take care of itself. Tips: 1. Focus on the tips. 2. Twist the tips gently toward your face not "out" since your head is sort of a sphere and you want the tips to hug your face, not point out like bull horns. 3. Help someone else by becoming a handlebar moustache mentor!

CanYouHandlebar goes to Rwanda

Using CanYouHandlebar? two degrees below the equator

Last month my wife and I visited our sponsored child Agnes, who is studying to be a journalist in one of the finest schools in Rwanda. The school is run by a Christian philanthropy organization that provides a bright future for the desperately poor, and street boys of Rwanda, a country that suffered a devastating genocide 18 years ago. Many of the kids we met were without family or were the products of rape or prostitution. That is the sad part. The hopeful part is the present unity of the country as Rwandans (no longer Hutus and Tutsis). The trip defies description in many ways, though I have spent many words trying in the weeks since my return. Instead of trying to describe every sight, sound and emotion I thought I would share my goals. I had several while I was in the the country (not in priority order):

Goal 1: Test CanYouHandlebar? moustache wax on safari:

I wanted to know if my waxes would stand up to the heat of the African sun just South of the equator (Preview: they worked really well!)

Goal 2: Meet our sponsored child:

We wanted to do more than send a few bucks a month. We wanted to show Agnes that we truly loved her and were committed to her for the long term. We also wanted to give her a hug. It was great.

Goal 3: Soak up experiences:

Expose myself to things that are truly different than I would ever see in the United States and be as open to whatever I came across as possible.

Goal 4: Test my worldview:

My definition of what it means to be poor has shifted. My belief in the free market as a way to lift individuals out of abject poverty has been buttressed by my visit to a women's training center wherein young women too old for school are taught a skill that will ensure they have food on the table each night.

Goal 5: Fix two sewing machines:

I didn't know this would happen but I had the opportunity to help fix two old sewing machines with my survival bracelet.

Goal 1: Test CanYouHandlebar moustache wax on safari?

As you'll see below, on safari, I was not exactly at my most dapper. During the ten day trip I only shaved a couple times because I had to use bottled water to avoid getting some wacky disease from the local water and I didn't want to waste a bunch of perfectly good water just to get smooth cheeks every morning. Being in Rwanda makes you think a lot about priorities.

The giraffe posed for me. It was so real it felt fake.

On this safari we spent hours in a Toyota van that had little to no air conditioning. We had to roll the windows up for the first hour or so to keep out the horse-flies (they are roughly the size of a small horse) that hang out in the tall grass at the entrance. It was pretty warm, as you might imagine. But the heat and long ride were totally worth it by the time we got to the giraffes, hippos and plain buffalo.

To be entirely honest, I wondered how my wax would hold up. I took this shot on the way home from seven hours of safari. I touched up once or twice during the day (mainly because O wiped the sweat off my face so much I lost some wax in the process) but my handlebars never drooped! I was using Primary6 and the experience made me feel really good about the product. I was two degrees below the equator and Primary6 delivered!

Goal 2: Meet our sponsored child

A few months ago my wife and I started sponsoring a 16 year old girl in Rwanda, named Agnes, who is studying hard in school and wants to one day be a journalist. We heard about a great organization named Africa New Life Ministries and they are completely legitimate. I saw it first-hand. Agnes was very sweet and had poise beyond her years.

Goat are awesome. Did you know they have horns? I like to think they are little handlebars.

She was very appreciative of what we brought and though very quiet, she warmed to us as the days went by. It was really cool to not only have the chance to meet her and give her a goat (that I named "Happy"). We also visited my mother-in-law and sister-in-law's sponsored girls. This is a shot of my wife's mom's girl in her first ride in a van going to her first restaurant. You can't not be thankful for what you have after meeting these great people.

Amerite was so sweet. I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking. She was so appreciative for the clothes, supplies and monthly support that lets her attend school.

Goal 3: Soak up experiences

Rwanda is the land of juxtaposition. I know it is a huge cliche, but I have never met such genuinely nice people. From the kitchen staff that made our meals at the guest house to the vendors in the market to the villagers that gathered around during the home-visits--we saw so many more smiles than I am accustomed to in the Midwest. The country was torn apart a brief 18 years ago. In 90 days close to a million Rwandans died during a methodical and evil genocide. In the years since, the country has begun the hard work of rebuilding. Literally.

The bricks are soil cut into rectangular brick and left to dry in the sun. The scaffolding is made of local trees lashed together. Definitely not OSHA. :}

We were watching homes under construction in every village and the power grid was small and spotty. The soil was a striking rust color and it made even weeds look awesome because of the contrast. Accordingly, flowers looked like magic growing out of the ground. With so many hills and gorgeous plants--a shack in Rwanda would be a $750,000 view in the States. Cars aren't too common and all of the taxis are little scooters. Here is one I snapped a picture of on our way back from a home visit.

The taxi drivers almost all sold calling cards as a side hustle. Go free market!

Without getting into the politics, suffice to the world could have done a lot more to help during those dark days. We can't go back in time, but we can do something to help now. If you want to learn more about changing the life of a child check out ANLM.

Here is what changed me: I saw the stark contrast between the boys that were not yet sponsored, "street boys" that got two meals a week and the sponsored children who were fed daily, went to school and had health insurance. The difference between their lives is literally $40 per month. I have been skeptical about these faraway charities my whole life. Seeing the difference first-hand changed me. If you have ever wanted to know that you did something good, that made a dent in the universe. If you ever wanted to be absolutely sure of that, sponsor a child. Here is another child we visited and his proud father.

Here is the one of the families we visited. This father and his son were kings for the day because they had a brand new soccer ball (and pump with spare needles). This replaced a ball made out of banana leaves tied together with twine.

It was hard to leave each home after the visit. The hand marks on the back of our van were made by the excited children who were so glad we came and helped a family in their village and brought that village a new soccer ball. It was really and sad and joyful all at once.

Goal 4: Test my worldview

I didn't grow up with a lot of money but I never hated those that did. I always was inspired by people who found a way to use their brain and their creativity to create something other people wanted to buy. Nobody is truly self-made, but I do believe we can all find ways to improve our lives if we work hard and learn from our mistakes. And I still maintain that is true in America. However, in Rwanda I saw people with absolutely nothing. Not a place to sleep, a next meal or even many good examples of how to climb out of the poverty. With strategic giving we can give them the tools to innovate and thrive.

No shame. No fear. Incredible poise and determination to get through the day. It made me feel lazy.

My worldview of free market remains intact, but I now see a place for investing in the truly poor if they are working toward self-sufficiency. That is what I love about ANLM. They are providing education and vocational training not hand-outs or guilt-driven pity money. I heard story after story of kids that graduated and then turned around and sponsored kids, themselves. That is cool.

Goal 5: Fix two sewing machines

I did not expect to actually do something useful while in Rwanda. I mean I know hugging kids that have never been hugged and handing out soccer balls is technically something; but I never expected to do something actually productive. I don't think random white guys from Michigan are probably what Rwanda has on their list of "things we think will help us," but I had a cool opportunity to take apart the paracord bracelet I wore each day to use it as a drive belt for sewing machines at the women's vocational center. I gotta admit, it felt pretty cool.

Here are the rows of machines on which the women learn to sew.

Here is a machine with no drive belt…I see an opportunity…

"I love it when a plan comes together" :}

So I start unraveling. It took about 30 minutes…

This is a picture of me handing two seven foot lengths of 550 paracord to the lady who runs the sewing program. I kept the scraps as a reminder of the day.

Thanks for reading this post. I want you to know more about me and why I do what I do. A portion of the proceeds of CanYouHandlebar? go to this organization and someday I hope to release a collectors edition of my wax in packaging made in this very room.

For more information on sponsoring through ANLM, click here.

Thanks for reading!

The basics: how to grow a handlebar moustache

The growth period of a handlebar moustache:

Many people ask me how long it takes to grow a respectable handlebar moustache. When I say, "about three months," I can see crests falling. There are a few points I would like to make about this. Just because your handlebar moustache is not fully mature early on, it doesn't mean it looks bad right up until day 90. In fact, it can look pretty decent all the way through the growing. During the growing period you may end up using a little extra wax to keep untrained hairs out of your mouth. Yes, I said untrained hairs. Unless you have had a handlebar for a while your moustache thinks it is "business as usual" and will grow is its natural pattern. It may surprise you that lip hair has a pattern, but just like the hairs on your beard or your head moustache hair has a preferred growth pattern. This three month growing period does two things. First, it allows the inner hair to catch up to the outer hairs. Second, the time period allows the wax to train the hair to go the direction you want it to grow.

Tricks during the growing period:

These are all optional but may make you feel more comfortable joining the handlebar moustache fraternity. Use what you like and ignore the rest.

Week One and Two:

Grow out a normal 90's goatee or a full beard. This lets you get some length without standing out too much. Prior to week two you really won't have enough hair to even begin waxing the ends. That said, a little moustache wax is handy even if you don't want to grow a handlebar. Some folks even use wax to keep fly-away eyebrows under control. Unless you are a fixture on 60 Minutes, you may want to get those eyebrows in check, too.

Week Two through Six:

Now you are probably starting to feel whiskers you are used to trimming sneaking into your mouth or tickling your lips. Please resist the temptation to trim these hairs. You will need these later. During this period of growth you will want to keep your wax in your pocket to keep it near body temperature so you can get a dab and train these pesky hairs swept to the right and the left away from your meal.

Week Six and beyond:

By now you should have sufficient hair on your upper lip to make the call to have only the handlebar moustache or keep your beard or goatee as sidecars to your awesome handlebar. There is no right or wrong about this. Some purists insist a handlebar should ride stag on your face, others are more lenient as to what constitutes a "real" handlebar moustache. I say do what you'd like and don't listen to the naysayers.

Note:

Don't feel compelled to wash out all of the wax every day. When you shower, obviously you should clean up and keep everything hygienic, but you don't need to or want to scrub out all of the wax. First of all, this is nearly impossible to do because moustache wax is made predominantly of wax and oil and is tough to remove entirely without tough soaps like dish soap. Beyond that, this is not good for your skin, not necessary for hygiene and not conducive to training your hairs. Every night, the wax in your moustache provides free training the whole time you are out cold!

The "dont's" of moustache growing:

Like the tricks, above, these are guidelines I am offering to you, man-to-man, not rules. Experiment and let me know if you find a better way!

Trimming:

I advise that you give it two to three weeks before trimming any hairs. If a single hair is driving you nuts--guillotine it, but if you can bear it, let them all grow until you get a good idea of which hairs will play along and which ones need to go. I strongly advise against cutting the hairs directly above the lip (which you are used to cutting if you have a goatee now) because then you end up with a handlebar mullet! You want those hairs to grow out and meet the outer hairs in order to get that full and natural look. After a couple of weeks you will start to notice that some hairs just don't belong. I have a few that grow North of the main part of my moustache that just never blend in well, so I trim them with little, sharp sewing scissors. I also trim a few hairs right beneath my nose for the same reason.

Overnight training:

Now this may be controversial, but I noticed that sometimes not matter how much I fiddle with my handlebar or applied wax, the ends tended to curl out to make bull horns (and these do not look great and photograph even worse) or one handle would get bent the wrong way on my pillow as I slept, so I turned to extreme measures. I used a DIY moustache snood while sleeping for a few nights in a row. I went to the drug store and picked up, for a few bucks, a package of nylon stretchy headbands with the little rubber nubs and wore the bad around my moustache and then around the back of my head where that line is under the bump on the back of your skull. This wasn't too tight for me and is reportedly not amorous in nature, but gives you eight or so hours (while sleeping) of hard core moustache training when needed. I have only done this a couple times.

Dedicated comb:

If you are using wax, you will want a dedicated comb so that you don't get wax in the hair on your head when combing it. (This doesn't apply to me exactly, because I am bald on top and keep the remaining hair short.) You will find this accumulates wax, so run it under hot water and use some good dish soap (I like blue Dawn) and a badger haired brush or old tooth brush to clean up the residue here and there. Pro-tip: Blow brying your combs to melt the wax and then wiping on a paper towel may sound like a good idea but then your comb melts like one of Dali's clocks and that will not help you grow Dali's moustache!

Hairs fall out--no biggie:

Hairs will fall out and though it can feel like a setback when you have been spending so much time and energy to get long curled hairs, know that it is normal. One caveat: if your moustache has a heavier coating of wax on it, don't pull a comb through at room temperature because in this specific scenario you may actually be pulling some "live" hairs clean out of their socket due to friction. I recommend cupping your hands and breathing that deep warm lung air into your moustache before combing or passing a blow dryer on low heat over your moustache a few times to soften the wax before combing. This is especially true of stiffer waxes.